Oct 02, 2020 It prevents a bad day at the casino from seriously hurting you financially. When you set aside your money, the very next step of creating a bankroll is determining a percentage or range between which you can place bets. Check out our collection of funny gambling jokes.We are sure they will make you laugh. If you have any gambling jokes as good, upload them at the bottom of this page. 1) I just bet £100 at the bookies that they would find Maddie, at 1000-1 odds. Nov 11, 2015 People visit Las Vegas for a variety of reasons, but there’s one thing that rings louder than the jackpot alarm on a penny slot machine: everyone is trying to hook up. We enlisted the help of a. You put money in the slot machine, pull the lever (or press the button, on most modern machines), and watch the symbols come up. You see one cherry, two cherries, then Hello I’m Nik 🎞 on Unsplash. Suddenly, you realize what you’re looking at. You’ve won the jackpot, and you’re about to walk out of the casino a winner.

How to Pick Up a Date in the Casino

by me, HogWild

You've seen the movies about Las Vegas.. the hot chicks, the exciting games of high stakes, the grand shows, the glitz, the glamour.. now forget about all that.

Before you go to the major leagues, you should practice in a casino nearby -- ya know that dinky one that's full of local drunks and chain-smoking old ladies popping their last arthritis pill to give them the strength to pull the slot machine lever. The motto of this casino is The Glitz, The Glamour, The Grandmas.

Inside this place of sadness, you will find some reasonably attractive women who made the mistake of coming to Casino Cawf-Upalung and because you are one of the rare dudes not hooked up to a breathing device, you'll increase your odds of winning a game of Poke-Her! Awww!

To initiate the conversation with this reasonably attractive female, don't use cheesy pick-up lines such as:

Hey babe, do you want me to show you the V.I.P. -- and by that I mean, my Very Impressive Penis.

A wise gambler once said you need to know when to fold 'em, know when to hold 'em, and know when to walk away. Well babe, I don't fold, so as I look at your big chips, do you want me to hold 'em or walk away?

If you pull the slot machine lever, I have a feeling you'll get lucky! Because the lever is in my pants! Grab that Lucky 7, baby!

Instead of these ridiculous pick-up lines, just approach the girl with a smile and ask if she's up or down money for the night. Have a natural conversation and then tell her about that time you went to Vegas and opened a casino with your childhood friend for the Mob.

Oh wait, that was Robert de Niro as Sam Rothstein.

HINT: When trying to pick up some hot trashy chick, don't pretend your life was a Hollywood movie! Use a story from a book because she probably can't read.

Now, before you go into the casino and start picking up girls you need to show them you are a brilliant player. There are lots of new online casino sites that let you play for free. Just go to: www.newcasinosonline.co You may even enjoy yourself and win a few bucks to buy a lady a drink.

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You win some, you lose some. Unfortunately, for the majority of bettors, a casino trip ends in the latter.

The thrill of having a chance at hitting it big is worth the price of admission, but it would certainly be nice if consistent winning could be part of the plan – even if it’s just a small amount. You may not have stopped going back, but losing money at the casino isn’t a sustainable financial strategy.

In the following article, I’m going to lay out the most common reasons gamblers keep losing money at the casino, and then explain what you can do about it.

1 – You Don’t Have a Bankroll

It’s not the most fun part of gambling, but it’s undoubtedly the most important. Having a defined casino bankroll is the first step to avoiding big losses and managing your money effectively.

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If you aren’t familiar with the term, your bankroll is the pool of money that you’ve set aside explicitly for gambling. You can create one just for a single day, or keep one going if you’re a frequent gambler.

The first thing to consider when setting up your bankroll is that it should only include an amount of money or cash that you’re willing to lose. Essentially, you should think of it like a purchase or an investment where you may or may not ever see that money again.

The reason it’s so important to have a bankroll when you enter the casino is because it’s a not-so-subtle reminder that you shouldn’t keep gambling once you’ve reached a certain loss amount. It prevents a bad day at the casino from seriously hurting you financially.

When you set aside your money, the very next step of creating a bankroll is determining a percentage or range between which you can place bets.

For example, if you have a $500 bankroll you might say that you’ll only bet between 2% and 5% of your total amount on any one bet. That means nothing less than $10, and nothing more than $25. This is important to note because it will help you realize which minimums you can afford. That $50 minimum blackjack table just wouldn’t be a prudent decision with this amount.

Keep track of your bankroll number as much as possible, and calculate where you’re at every time you take a break. Again, a bankroll isn’t the most exciting thing, but it is the most important.

2 – You Never Take Breaks

I’ll let you in on a secret – every single game in the casino (with the exception of poker) is slightly tilted in the house’s favor. That means, statistically speaking, the more you bet or play, the more likely it is that you’ll lose money.

Regardless of whether or not you’re winning, it’s crucial to step away every so often in order to recalibrate. If you’re on a hot streak this can be especially difficult, but walking away before your luck turns in the other direction might just be the best thing you can do.

When you’re on a losing streak, walking away from the table is arguably more beneficial than winning a few hands. The reason is that when you start losing, you start getting anxious which both clouds your judgement, and in many cases, causes you to bet more because you’re desperate to get back to even.

It’s completely understandable that in the heat of a real money roulette or blackjack game that you’ll get sucked into the action. To combat this inevitability, try setting a 30-minute timer on your cell phone that will alert you to take a lap around the casino, use the restroom, or do any other activity besides gambling.

Even the best gamblers have a hard time thinking clearly when they’re in the middle of a streak. Don’t fall victim to this by utilizing the timer trick

3 – You’re Picking the Wrong Games

One thing that you simply can’t afford to overlook when trying to come out of the casino ahead is the games you’re playing. Yes, there are several different ones that all give you roughly the same odds, but others need to be avoided entirely.

Unfortunately, slot machines rank near the top of the list of games that should not be played by gamblers hoping to maximize their bankroll. Although they’re fun, easy, addicting, and can occasionally result in a big jackpot, the risk doesn’t match the potential reward.

Besides simply looking at the odds involved with slots, it’s important to take another fa

Picking Up Money At A Casino Bad